If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
