Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
last night I used snow as a chaser
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
