I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
