A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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