If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just high enough for therapy.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
