New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
