i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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