she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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