I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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