Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
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hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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