you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
