Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
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Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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