C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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