did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
