I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
