Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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