is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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