Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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