We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
