Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
