good thing vaginas are great cup holders
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
