This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
