I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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