Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
ttyl tear gas
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
