So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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