Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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