He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
