Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
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I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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