he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
