No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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