jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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