I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
