I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
BRING THE BAGELS
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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