Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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