I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
