So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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