Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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