check it out our google latitudes are spooning
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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