just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
