If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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