I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
