My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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