I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
