i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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