so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I puked a lego.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
