you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
