did you get engaged???
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
