I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
