my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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