2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
kristin has been a bad kristin
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
