I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
