I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Four minutes until I can fart!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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