So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
