Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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